I found out a few Christmases ago that I really love gingerbread houses. I used to build scale models in grad school and got really into it. Gingerbread houses are like that but without grades or measuring. My weekend plans are to order trash pizza, put on Home Alone, drink some weed sodas, and decorate gingerbread houses til I’m too stoned to hold a piping bag.

I also love that it is cold and I can snuggle my husband to suck up his warmth and make him yell when I touch him with my cold toes. 😈

I definitely use more than I need. #Privileged

I look really young. Like I’m 40 but routinely pass for early 20s or even late teens if I do my makeup with that aim.

I get carded buying alcohol a lot. I hated it until I was about 27, and it really started to make me feel great! Especially once my gray hair started growing in (I dye it regularly so nobody really sees them, but I know they’re there). If all you’re trying to do is guess how old I am from how I look, I will love your answer.

But people often judge my experience or expertise as if I am only as old as I look when I am really twice that age. I hate when people assume I’m the office assistant or new hire when I’m the Assistant Director. I had physical therapy for several months due to a chronic shoulder injury, and the old ladies there loved to tell (not ask) me that physical therapy must be so easy for me as if my joints aren’t fucked and my pain and effort aren’t real. Still pisses me off so much.

And don’t get me started on the creepy old guys who see legal jail bait…eugh.

eBay is my oldest, not sure when exactly, 2001-2002-2003 something like that.

Next is my Something Awful forums account from 2005.

Traffic Jam.

It’s got a bunch of different berries and rhubarb sometimes. Slovacacek’s on I35 outside Waco makes the best.

For real; what the hell?

That’s just if it’s unlocked with your thumbprint, since, if you’re being arrested the cops get your thumbprint anyway, but if it’s a password or phrase, you have the right to remain silent, correct?

This is the lord’s work made real right here. Thanking you so much from Texas.

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Yeah, a lot of them were born in the 1950s.

It’s just not sustainable. Lab-grown meat is here, it just needs to get to scale, get a bit cheaper and boom. Farming and killing animals for food will be obsolete.

Working out and exercising will help boost your seratonin and dopamine levels AND make you too tired to ruminate much at bed time.

I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year. I’m so psyched to show all the old crones in the families how to do a proper holiday. I have so many fucking garlands in my Amazon shopping cart. Need another paycheck or two before I can pull the trigger.

I use it around my hairline before I color my hair so as not to stain my skin.

When people turn a popular post into an Oscars Acceptance Speech

ETA: wow thanks for the upvotes!

ETA2: omg my first gold award?? I couldn’t have made it without my mom and Jesus through whom all things are possible