That would be like when they sing for your birthday at a restaurant, but only a billion times worse.

I don’t know. Sounds pretty horrifying. Like people who propose at sporting matches.

I would actually vomit, which as we all know, is the true sign of romance.

I’m pretty sure singing a poem turns it into a song.

What if it was awful?

Unless you’re, like, “um, thanks, but I don’t feel that way about you” which would be horribly mortifying for everyone involved. Especially when the news followed up to find out the deets of the happy ending and found only shame and regret.

But, yeah, if it was mutual it would be hella romantic.

Unless the other person had social anxiety and the massive attention caused them a breakdown and they had to go into a healthcare facility to recovery. Still romantic, but tragic, too.

I think you should pitch it to NetFlix. I think they could turn it into a one-off show, either way. The actual happy ending version would be the most boring, but today’s audiences love angst and pathology.

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